thus making me awesome and them whores
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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