hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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