Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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