Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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