hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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