Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
