Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
