i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
