Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
