If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
