i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
