Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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