This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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