I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
