I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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