She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
