Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
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she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
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I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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