dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize