I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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