Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize