there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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