worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
