Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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