singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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