Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
