I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
