Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize