the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Say something about gay babies.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
