i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Couch. On fire.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
