1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
