Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I need to calm my uterus...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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