Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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