He kissed a someone with a penis
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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