and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
