omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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