I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
