you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
