and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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