whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
