If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
