No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
