Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
