i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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