just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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