I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
