I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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