dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Barsexuality is the new black.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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