if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
