It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I need a burrito and a hug.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
