Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
