To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
