fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
worst night to have a conscience
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
