He is such a slut. More and more my type.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
