some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
home. puking in laundry basket.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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