that's an acceptable place to lick
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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