i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
