i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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