it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
