i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
