I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
