Old men and throwing up are my life now.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
