I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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