I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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